This is a really detailed list of accessibility questions for event planners, so that they can make it clear to people with disabilities whether the event will work for them or not.
It’s awesome. We need more stuff like this.
Alternatively, some fans may find it tempting to argue “Well this media is a realistic portrayal of societies like X, Y, Z”. But when you say that sexism and racism and heterosexism and cissexism have to be in the narrative or the story won’t be realistic, what you are saying is that we humans literally cannot recognise ourselves without systemic prejudice, nor can we connect to characters who are not unrepentant bigots. Um, yikes. YIKES, you guys.
And even if you think that’s true (which scares the hell out of me), I don’t see you arguing for an accurate portrayal of everything in your fiction all the time. For example, most people seem fine without accurate portrayal of what personal hygiene was really like in 1300 CE in their medieval fantasy media. (Newsflash: realistically, Robb Stark and Jon Snow rarely bathed or brushed their teeth or hair). In real life, people have to go to the bathroom. In movies and books, they don’t show that very much, because it’s boring and gross. Well, guess what: bigotry is also boring and gross. But everyone is just dying to keep that in the script.”
YES YES YES THIS FOREVER
ASK: What’s the story about Dan Savage? (I made this response post re-bloggable for those who requested it).
(TRIGGER WARNING: discussion of cissexism, cissexist language/slurs, suicide (it gets better campaign), rape apologism, victim-blaming, body-shaming, slut-shaming)
Oh where to start with Dan Savage…
Anon, I live in Seattle. Dan Savage writes for a local publication here called the Stranger. Seattle seems to have a love-hate relationship with it. I personally, (as a journalism/news media snob) would never read it.
Savage is a gay married man. He is somewhat of a celebrity in the gay community. I say gay instead of queer because he does not always acknowledge all facets of our community.
He and his husband started the It Gets Better project, which has helped many queer youth swerve away from the suicidal path.
So he has done some really awesome things. Personally, as a journalist, I do not think that his articles are as awesome as people seem to think. He is harsh and rude for no reason. He crosses the line between forceful opinionated journalism, and mirrors the conservatives he so publicly loathes in his close minded opinions and unwillingness to hear multiple sides of a story that challenges his almighty opinion.
Oh and my favorite thing about Dan Savage is he tends to sway on the side of “they asked for it” when it comes to rape victims and slut shaming. Just the topper on the cake.
Again, these are all my personal opinions. For all of Savage’s links here are his column links.
Scrappy (blogger/PQ guest writer)
I agree with Scrappy on this topic, anon. While Dan Savage has done AMAZING things for the gay and lesbian community, he DOES exclude or outright INSULT many minorities within the queer community - namely bisexuals, pansexuals, and those in the trans* community.
Sources for these accusations are located here:
He HAS also been accused (a number of times) for being a rape apologist, slut-shamer, AND racist.
Sources for these accusations follow:
While I think that the It Gets Better Campaign is a well-meaning project, it DOES offer false hopes to some - especially if members of the community are excluded/ignored.
QueerWatch discusses this much further here: http://queerwatch.tumblr.com/post/1238368677/why-i-dont-like-dan-savages-it-gets-better
When these accusations are brought to his attention he either does not respond or reiterate the fact that most of his worst statements occurred a number of years ago. The problem is: IT IS A RE-OCCURRING ISSUE.
His most recent bout of news: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/02/dan-savage-glitterbombed-oregon-transphobia-_n_1071627.html
And, lastly… if anyone is interested, there is also a tumblr just for Dan Savage regarding all the aforementioned topics: http://fucknodansavage.tumblr.com/
I hope that answers your question, anon. Good day to you. <3
Riley (PQ creator/editor)
P.S. If you would like to see videos of Dan Savage actually SAYING these things, simply type things like ‘Dan Savage biphobia’, ‘Dan Savage cissexism’, etc. into youtube’s search engine.
The resources are endless really…
Basically, not at all a credible spokesperson for anti-bullying or for a sizable portion of the queer community.
ooh, lots of links on Dan Savage’s awfulness compiled into one easy-to-reblog thing!
how to decode a person with an anxiety disorder
things we are trying to do all the time:
- be safe
things we can’t help but do all the time:
- second-guess ourselves
- behave impulsively and reactively
- take everything personally
- have difficulty accepting compliments
- have difficulty reciprocating friendly gestures
- have difficulty finding the courage to respond
- have difficulty not being suspicious of others’ intentions
- make a huge deal out of the smallest thing
things you should keep in mind:
- we’re scared of everything
- pretty much all of the time
- it’s an actual disorder
- it manifests as impulsive behavior
- you can’t fix us with words
- telling us “worrying is silly” won’t make us stop worrying
- it’ll only make us feel silly
- and then we’ll worry even more
- “oh god, am i worrying too much? what if they call me silly again?”
- like that
- also, we wear a lot of armor
- cold, heavy, affection-proof armor with spikes
- we constructed this armor as children
- we’re fairly certain you will never be able to pry it apart
- but there is a nice person under there, we promise
things you can do for a friend with an anxiety disorder:
- stick around
- ask them if they’re comfortable in a place or situation
- be willing to change the place or situation if not
- activities that help them take their mind off of things are good!
- talk to them even when they might not talk back
- (they’re probably too afraid to say the wrong thing)
- try not to take their reactions (or lack thereof) personally
- (the way they expresses themself is distorted and bent because of their constant fear)
- (and they knows this)
- give them time to respond to you
- they will obsess over how they are being interpreted
- they will anticipate being judged
- it took me four hours just to type this much
- even though i sound casual
- that’s because i have an anxiety disorder
things you shouldn’t do:
- tell us not to worry
- tell us we’ll be fine
- mistake praise for comfort
- ask us if we are “getting help”
- force us to be social
- force us to do things that trigger us
- “face your fears” doesn’t always work
- because—remember—scared of everything
- in fact, it would be more accurate to say we are scared of the fear itself
emergency action procedure for panic attacks:
- be calm
- be patient
- don’t be condescending
- remind us that we’re not “crazy”
- sit with us
- ask us to tighten and relax our muscles one by one
- remind us that we are breathing
- engage us in a discussion (if we can talk, then we can breathe)
- if we are having trouble breathing, try getting us to exhale slowly
- or breathe through our nose
- or have us put our hands on our stomach to feel each breath
- ask us what needs to change in our environment in order for us to feel safe
- help us change it
- usually, just knowing that we have someone on our side willing to fight our scary monsters with us is enough to calm us down
if you have an anxiety disorder:
- it’s okay.
- even if you worry that it’s not okay.
- it’s still okay. it’s okay to be scared. it’s okay to be scared of being scared.
- you are not crazy. you are not a freak.
- i know there’s a person under all that armor.
- and i know you feel isolated because of it.
- i won’t make you take it off.
- but know that you are not alone.
My giant spikey armor is my humor. I’ve been developing it my whole life. But, this. This is my life. I hope it gets better with the medication I’ve started, but my whole life is and has always been fear. It’s exhausting. I hope more people understand one day.
my armor is a little bit of everything. by the time i got to high school i was so mean. i was a mean, unhappy person, because the kids i went to elementary school with made the world a mean, scary place. i’m still working on not seeing it that way. and there still aren’t really solutions for the kind of bullying i went through, which was social and sustained—we still don’t understand groupthink, much less know how to explain it to kids who are nine or seven or five. there’s no after-school special on empathy.
For Future Reference
Tips on *Writing* Image Description
The purpose on an image description is to get across the same point that the image does. The point is not—necessarily—to literally describe everything that’s happening in the image.
My main blog’s theme puts a heart before the number of notes each post gets. If the theme’s developer were to ever get around to adding in alt text for the heart images (HA! ACCESSIBLE CODING! AS IF!), it would be silly to write “a small, stylized black heart.” Instead, they would probably write “note count.” Similarly, online textbooks that use signs like the caution symbol would do well to put “caution!” as the image text.
Of course, a lot of images on tumblr aren’t “functional” as much as they are decorative. If that’s the case, then it’s generally a good idea to summarize what makes the photo so breathtaking/funny/distinct/profound, and leave out the nonessential details. It’s important to replicate the meaning of the image, not necessarily the experience of seeing the image.
The above can be especially helpful for some people with learning/processing disabilities who still want to describe their images. Sometimes, I try to write a quick description and wind up cataloging dozens of little details that aren’t really all that interesting or important. Taking a step back (some tumblr-ites recommend switching tabs so that you don’t get caught up in all the little details) and focusing on what’s really important in the image can help you write an informative, but not too taxing, description.
And if you can’t, of course, then you can’t.
important! helpful! yay!
The important phrases to remember
- “I do not consent to any searches.”
- “That is a question for my lawyer.”
- “Am I free to go?”
It could happen for any number of reasons, but it’s likely you’ll be in a position to deal with the police at some point. Maybe your party gets too rowdy, maybe police are going door to door, or maybe your shitty-apartment-complex neighbor has been having a meth-fueled solo hammer party for four hours and your cranky upstairsneighbor reports you to the cops, so the police wake you up at 4 AM to ask what you are pounding on.
What do you do when you look through the peephole and see a badge?
- Remember: You do not have to let the police in the house unless they have a warrant — or probable cause. If you’re having a party, turn of the music, ask your guests to chill, and ask that anyone who’s too intoxicated carry on in another room.
- Go outside to speak with the cops. Close the door behind you. Although some scary precedents are being set these days, police cannot enter your home without a warrant or probable cause. By closing the door, you’re cutting off a visual — or olfactory — line to potential probable cause.
- Be polite. Ask why they are there. “Good evening, Officer. What can I help you with?”
- Where possible, assure them you will take care of the problem. If the police ask to enter, inform them, “I do not consent to any searches.” If a police officer gives you an order and you are confused about your position, ask, “Do I have to comply?” If they continue with questioning, tell them you’ll need to call your lawyer and that you will not answer any questions.
- Ask, “Am I free to leave?” This is especially handy if, say, a group of you’d been too bawdy on the patio and an officer stops by. If he/she is getting a bit hot under the collar, politely ask, “Am I being detained?” or “Am I free to leave?” If the cop has no reason to hold you, quickly, quietly, and politely retreat inside.
this is a video of me from a couple weeks ago performing a poem i wrote called ‘fat bottomed girls’. if you want the full script of the poem, just throw me a line through the ask box.
i’m so hyped this is finally ready to show. GOD I’M SO GOOGLE-ABLE NOW.
I love this so much.
Amazing Fat Positive poem
um, amazing. also her voice is really, really beautiful.
pasting in transcript for accessibility…
hey all, sorry for occasional dashboard spam but i’ve gotten a lot of requests for the full script lately so i thought i’d repost this. thanxx for all the feedback and interweb love <333
fat-bottomed girls — kim selling 2/25/11
if every bastard who had ever judged my body
were lined up in front of me
and i was given the right
to do with them as i pleased,
i would be at a loss.
i would probably yell
because i love a good fat girl pun,
but there’s nothing else left inside
to make them understand
the extreme ignorance and misspent pain they embody.
you can all just fucking EAT ME.
devour my scarlet throbbing flesh
like junior high vultures
like sorority pledge councils
like debutante beauty queens
i don’t look like you
what the fuck else is new?
there is no footnote
in the regulations index of my life
that tells me i have to sleep on ellipticals
and suck down the hopeful semen
of boys named jimmy
until you understand my body.
you won’t ever understand my body.
i am miss piggy, i am mama cass, i am fucking aretha.
and i love being these women.
i love being fat.
my thighs shriek rough and ready sex
like downtown thunder
my ass drips vanilla milkshakes
and my personal style is baby gay madonna
meets crop top goth
AND IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER.
being fat doesn’t make me different,
—fuck, i look like america—
but loving that i’m fat
makes me a pillsbury rebellion.
i hold protests in my mouth
when i eat in public
picket signs wallpaper my willing body
when i dance naked in my apartment.
RIOTS NOT DIETS is tattooed across my chest
and i live for the moment
when i shock you into silence.
because being me is political
and you never voted for this shit.
body image is just bad english for
how hard you stomp the sidewalk
or how many cracks in the mirror
i may have been picked last in softball,
but i was nationally ranked in tennis,
and you’ll never be ready for this jelly
because all you nibble on
are sad-ass spoonfuls of
organic low sodium peanut butter.
yeah, i tend to date black guys
and i rarely say no to a homemade baked good
but that says no more about me than —
how you chew big red compulsively when you’re nervous, or
how you can never say no to your mother —
says about you.
so just let it be.
we’re grown-ups now, i think.
there are no more lunch time kickball teams,
and i already have a date to the next dance.
so when you feel the need
to pretend to be concerned
about my health or well-being
just know that i’ve already let go of the trigger
just know that you don’t have
to count the calories
when i tell you
to fucking eat me.