why i can't predict the weather past the storm

yoursecretary:

page 14 from the worst: A Compilation Zine on Grief and Loss.  Talks about radical response to death and loss, + how to support someone who is grieving. (click image to go to printable pdf)
[image description: a cut n paste zine page from the worst #1: A Compilation Zine on Grief and Loss. Text reads:
“Circle what you think you might need:
for me to come and hold you
for me to stay outside your door but play you some music
for me to play music for you inside your room
for me to ask you questions
for me to just be near and be silent
for me to hold your hand while you call your other family
to talk about the rest of the family
to go outside and scream
to talk about anything but this death
to get away from here
go to a movie
distraction
acknowledgment
some kind of ceremony
to get the rest of the roommates out of the house
to get the rest of the roommates to stop giving you uncomfortable looks
to get people to stop trying to cheer you up
to tell everyone else that this is the anniversary day
to tell you that all the mixed things you feel are okay
to tell you the things i love about you
to tell you that this is the worst thing you’ll ever know
to tell you that i want to know everything. it is not a burden.
circle what you think you might need. or write more. i want to be here for you. i want to be your friend”.]

yoursecretary:

page 14 from the worst: A Compilation Zine on Grief and Loss.  Talks about radical response to death and loss, + how to support someone who is grieving. (click image to go to printable pdf)

[image description: a cut n paste zine page from the worst #1: A Compilation Zine on Grief and Loss. Text reads:

“Circle what you think you might need:

  • for me to come and hold you
  • for me to stay outside your door but play you some music
  • for me to play music for you inside your room
  • for me to ask you questions
  • for me to just be near and be silent
  • for me to hold your hand while you call your other family
  • to talk about the rest of the family
  • to go outside and scream
  • to talk about anything but this death
  • to get away from here
  • go to a movie
  • distraction
  • acknowledgment
  • some kind of ceremony
  • to get the rest of the roommates out of the house
  • to get the rest of the roommates to stop giving you uncomfortable looks
  • to get people to stop trying to cheer you up
  • to tell everyone else that this is the anniversary day
  • to tell you that all the mixed things you feel are okay
  • to tell you the things i love about you
  • to tell you that this is the worst thing you’ll ever know
  • to tell you that i want to know everything. it is not a burden.

circle what you think you might need. or write more. i want to be here for you. i want to be your friend”.]


It’s easy to say “don’t give people so much power to hurt you,” but that does not address our need for connection and acceptance. It does not account for the very healthy impulse to seek feedback on our perceptions of the world. I believe that the healthiest person, when persistently rejected, will witness either an erosion of their mental boundaries or an erosion of their ability to engage in intimacy. I also believe that the only way to maintain good mental boundaries, to counteract social rejection, and to assess when to disengage, is to have strong self-knowledge and self-confidence, and to engage in self-compassion and care. In other words, to engage in behaviors that build your self-esteem.

» Guest post: On consent in romantic relationships > More Than Two Book Blog (via brutereason)

i also really like this part:

Why am I so afraid in this relationship when there’s no imminent physical danger?”

If you find yourself asking yourself this question, check your boundaries. Do you know where they are? How much power have you given to others to affect your well-being, your self esteem, even your desire to live? Remember, when you give someone the power to affect you and to come into your mind, you are only loaning what belongs to you. If you are afraid, you have given too much. When you look forward, do you see choices? Is leaving the relationship a viable option? Is changing the relationship a viable option? Is setting boundaries a viable option? What happens when I say “no”?

but i wonder what happens/wish there was a good resource for people with anxiety issues where the answer is “because of your brain.”


lomadia:

johndarnielle:

byhannahrosengren:

Plant These To Help Save Bees: 21 Bee-Friendly Plants. Learn more here!
Hannah Rosengren 2013

you could really plant these in any vacant lot if you didn’t get caught, the ones on this list I’m familiar with grow with little or no tending! Free the Bee!

Just bought a load of these for my parents’ garden in their new house :D
View Larger

lomadia:

johndarnielle:

byhannahrosengren:

Plant These To Help Save Bees: 21 Bee-Friendly Plants. Learn more here!

Hannah Rosengren 2013

you could really plant these in any vacant lot if you didn’t get caught, the ones on this list I’m familiar with grow with little or no tending! Free the Bee!

Just bought a load of these for my parents’ garden in their new house :D

(Source: hannah-rosengren)


Introducing: Individual Access to JSTOR

jstor:

To our amazing and vocal Tumblr followers:

We are so happy to announce JPASS, a monthly or annual individual plan that provides access to 1,500 journals from JSTOR’s archive collection. This represents 83% of all available content in the JSTOR archive.

JPASS offers people unlimited online reading from an expansive library of high quality journals across 50 subject areas. JPASS holders also get a MyJSTOR account, enabling them to access JSTOR 24/7 from any device. In addition, this personalized access provides everyone with the ability to set up alerts for specific search terms or journals; to save and export citations; and, as a unique feature, to enjoy a personal library of saved article downloads, which are preserved and accessible to you—even if your JPASS expires.

We offer two JPASS plans: an annual plan for $199 that includes 120 downloads per year, or a month-to-month plan for $19.50, which includes10 downloads per month.

We are so, so thankful for support we’ve received on Tumblr! As a thank you, we are offering you a$20 discount on the annual plan. Please click here to register.

Feel free to message me here with any questions or comments.

Happy researching!

image


Alternatively, some fans may find it tempting to argue “Well this media is a realistic portrayal of societies like X, Y, Z”. But when you say that sexism and racism and heterosexism and cissexism have to be in the narrative or the story won’t be realistic, what you are saying is that we humans literally cannot recognise ourselves without systemic prejudice, nor can we connect to characters who are not unrepentant bigots. Um, yikes. YIKES, you guys.

And even if you think that’s true (which scares the hell out of me), I don’t see you arguing for an accurate portrayal of everything in your fiction all the time. For example, most people seem fine without accurate portrayal of what personal hygiene was really like in 1300 CE in their medieval fantasy media. (Newsflash: realistically, Robb Stark and Jon Snow rarely bathed or brushed their teeth or hair). In real life, people have to go to the bathroom. In movies and books, they don’t show that very much, because it’s boring and gross. Well, guess what: bigotry is also boring and gross. But everyone is just dying to keep that in the script.

How to be a fan of problematic things (via evewithanapple)

YES YES YES THIS FOREVER

(Source: ladysaviours)


ASK: What’s the story about Dan Savage? (I made this response post re-bloggable for those who requested it).

ihavechortles:

bubonickitten:

projectqueer:

(TRIGGER WARNING: discussion of cissexism, cissexist language/slurs, suicide (it gets better campaign), rape apologism, victim-blaming, body-shaming, slut-shaming)

Oh where to start with Dan Savage…

Anon, I live in Seattle. Dan Savage writes for a local publication here called the Stranger. Seattle seems to have a love-hate relationship with it. I personally, (as a journalism/news media snob) would never read it. 

Savage is a gay married man. He is somewhat of a celebrity in the gay community. I say gay instead of queer because he does not always acknowledge all facets of our community. 

He and his husband started the It Gets Better project, which has helped many queer youth swerve away from the suicidal path. 

So he has done some really awesome things. Personally, as a journalist, I do not think that his articles are as awesome as people seem to think. He is harsh and rude for no reason. He crosses the line between forceful opinionated journalism, and mirrors the conservatives he so publicly loathes in his close minded opinions and unwillingness to hear multiple sides of a story that challenges his almighty opinion.

Oh and my favorite thing about Dan Savage is he tends to sway on the side of “they asked for it” when it comes to rape victims and slut shaming. Just the topper on the cake.

Again, these are all my personal opinions. For all of Savage’s links here are his column links

Love,

Scrappy (blogger/PQ guest writer)

————————————————————————————————

I agree with Scrappy on this topic, anon. While Dan Savage has done AMAZING things for the gay and lesbian community, he DOES exclude or outright INSULT many minorities within the queer community - namely bisexuals, pansexuals, and those in the trans* community.

Sources for these accusations are located here:

He HAS also been accused (a number of times) for being a rape apologist, slut-shamer, AND racist.

Sources for these accusations follow:

While I think that the It Gets Better Campaign is a well-meaning project, it DOES offer false hopes to some - especially if members of the community are excluded/ignored.

QueerWatch discusses this much further here: http://queerwatch.tumblr.com/post/1238368677/why-i-dont-like-dan-savages-it-gets-better

When these accusations are brought to his attention he either does not respond or reiterate the fact that most of his worst statements occurred a number of years ago. The problem is: IT IS A RE-OCCURRING ISSUE.

His most recent bout of news: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/02/dan-savage-glitterbombed-oregon-transphobia-_n_1071627.html

And, lastly… if anyone is interested, there is also a tumblr just for Dan Savage regarding all the aforementioned topics: http://fucknodansavage.tumblr.com/

I hope that answers your question, anon. Good day to you. <3

Sincerely,

Riley (PQ creator/editor)

P.S. If you would like to see videos of Dan Savage actually SAYING these things, simply type things like ‘Dan Savage biphobia’, ‘Dan Savage cissexism’, etc. into youtube’s search engine.

The resources are endless really…

He’s also ableist and sizeist. :/ 

Basically, not at all a credible spokesperson for anti-bullying or for a sizable portion of the queer community.

ooh, lots of links on Dan Savage’s awfulness compiled into one easy-to-reblog thing!