why i can't predict the weather past the storm

[ED TW] how come no one fat/fat-positive talks about being fat/body-positive but struggling w/disordered eating?



other than in a half-joking “EATING MY FEELINGS” way.

ugh, why is therapy day five days from now fuck.

I hear you.

One thing that always makes me feel shitty is the way FA activists joke about eating tubs of lard and endless boxes of donuts or whatever. I understand their intent, because obviously it’s important to counter the stereotype that all fat people overeat, but hey, I’m a fat person with an ED here, and it’s kind of destroying my life at the moment.

While I love FA and everything it’s led me to (like feminism!), I always feel lost in the dark whenever fat activists bring up food. Every single one of them insists that they eat just! like! normal people!, which is great for them, but that hasn’t been my experience as a fat person at all.

And then they bring up intuitive eating as a means to escape diet culture, and that’s just a big steaming pile of shame and inadequacy for me, because if I truly ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, then I’d be exactly where I am right now—sick every goddamn day from the hell I’m putting my digestive system through. But it’s okay because I’m giving myself permission to eat what I want, right? I just can’t wrap my mind around how people get intuitive eating to work when they have eating disorders!

oh, good call with the trigger warning. /made of fail

I’ve lived in the grey area between “normal eater” and “having an eating disorder” for years. I’ll have weeks where I feel like I totally have the hang of feeding myself and weeks where I feel totally totally out of control. I let myself get way, way too hungry way, way too often and my patterns of hunger and fullness don’t really make sense to me.

With respect to intuitive eating vs. disordered eating, Michelle AKA The Fat Nutritionist has a great post outlining the idea of eating competence which is kind of an alternative model to intuitive eating, which she had first discussed in the comments at Fatshionista here.

I wonder about how “anti-oppression” the discourse is, also, when it’s necessary to produce evidence about all parts of your identity as evidence and when you don’t produce them they’re found out or suitable substitutes are made for them. I

Strontium bitch: anti-oppression discourse, part whatever

I think that’s what bother me about ” SJ” internet activism and progressivism. At some basic level I gravitate to people who I think are about thinking or solving issues and what LET said is COMPLETELY true . There is an identity cachet that has developed in proving that someone else is bad at something

that thrives on insinuation

that there is a correct way to be 


and for me certain things are about changing teh way we think.

The sexual abuse thing , ya know what I’m never NOT gonna have this history and peopel talk about sexual violence as if survivors are broken or less than

like that if we can’t GET to a point where it gets funny we have failed something

and that’s what happened to LET

that WHAT he was was a failure so what he said wasn’t serious and shouldn’t be considered

it wasn’t doen to DISAGREE but to


and considering that it’s around the opinions and in defense of opinions of people who were already possessing plenty privilege and DON’T ASSIGN THEM SELVES AS PROGRESSIVE ( Jezebel has been positioned as feminist for CAREER purposes for SOME PEOPLE)

so what the hell is that ?

(via blackamazon)

this is definitely really important.

this reminds me of s.e. smith’s post at Tiger Beatdown about goals. i think the development of a system of identity cachet (which i definitely have found myself buying into, feeling uncomfortable with but not consciously articulating my discomfort about, fwiw) might be developing out of insecurity/as a way of clarifying that we have similar goals, on the premise that similar experiences lead to similar goals—which strontium bitch rightly pulls apart as very faulty logic. identity is accepted as proof of good faith, but then we turn around and start demanding it.

i think it also comes from the “the personal is political” meme. it’s true that the personal is political, but i think if you want to keep some things personal, maybe that’s okay. maybe i don’t really want to talk about some of the things i’ve been thinking and talking about for the past year on the internet—maybe it’s okay to keep some of those really fruitful discussions and those really hard moments and those pieces of myself to myself. and i think that would be a lot easier to do and a lot easier to accept if we, as a community or a set of communities or a set of factions within a set of communities or whatever, had a more concrete action plan than “dismantle white supremacist capitalist heteropatriarchy!” it leaves too much room for us to be scared, for our energies to turn against each other.

(Source: lowendtheory)