[ED TW] how come no one fat/fat-positive talks about being fat/body-positive but struggling w/disordered eating?
other than in a half-joking “EATING MY FEELINGS” way.
ugh, why is therapy day five days from now fuck.
I hear you.
One thing that always makes me feel shitty is the way FA activists joke about eating tubs of lard and endless boxes of donuts or whatever. I understand their intent, because obviously it’s important to counter the stereotype that all fat people overeat, but hey, I’m a fat person with an ED here, and it’s kind of destroying my life at the moment.
While I love FA and everything it’s led me to (like feminism!), I always feel lost in the dark whenever fat activists bring up food. Every single one of them insists that they eat just! like! normal people!, which is great for them, but that hasn’t been my experience as a fat person at all.
And then they bring up intuitive eating as a means to escape diet culture, and that’s just a big steaming pile of shame and inadequacy for me, because if I truly ate whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, then I’d be exactly where I am right now—sick every goddamn day from the hell I’m putting my digestive system through. But it’s okay because I’m giving myself permission to eat what I want, right? I just can’t wrap my mind around how people get intuitive eating to work when they have eating disorders!
oh, good call with the trigger warning. /made of fail
I’ve lived in the grey area between “normal eater” and “having an eating disorder” for years. I’ll have weeks where I feel like I totally have the hang of feeding myself and weeks where I feel totally totally out of control. I let myself get way, way too hungry way, way too often and my patterns of hunger and fullness don’t really make sense to me.
With respect to intuitive eating vs. disordered eating, Michelle AKA The Fat Nutritionist has a great post outlining the idea of eating competence which is kind of an alternative model to intuitive eating, which she had first discussed in the comments at Fatshionista here.