If I ever tell you I’m going to sleep and then you see me posting or liking things online for about an hour immediately after that, I promise I wasn’t lying to you, I’m just bad at going to sleep and it is usually a long process that begins with disengaging from any sort of immediate contact with people (chats, for example) and ends when everything on my screen is blurry and I’m hallucinating plot points I haven’t written yet
Where the inspirational figure is selected for us, and the gap between their life and ours is too great, the effect is not one of encouragement but of disillusionment - especially if their story is told in terms of personal qualities like bravery or persistence.
Knowing a famous person has the same impairment as you can be reassuring, but only in the vague way that hearing of a successful distant relative is reassuring.
Most of us will never scale Everest, compete for our country at sports or have a showbiz career. This doesn’t mean we’ve failed.”
For BBC’s Mental Health Awareness Week, Mark Brown questions the value of glorifying role models who share our own disabilities and pathologies.
A flipside of the same coin to consider is the perilous “tortured genius” myth of creativity, which implies that depression, addiction, and other mental health issues that plagued some successful creators were central to their genius. The human antidotes to this mythology are worthy role models.
Women’s looks are supposed to be our salvations. In a sense, mine were. But looks are an escape hatch to other places where they’re no longer as important.
Beauty is powerful because it is pleasing. Real power means not having to please.”
socially constructed doesn’t mean imaginary
We have to consciously study how to be tender with each other until it becomes a habit.”
— Audre Lorde (via loveyourchaos)
May 19, 2013
c/o Abercrombie & Fitch
Abercrombie & Fitch Campus
6301 Fitch Path
New Albany, Ohio 43054Hey Mike,I know you’ve been flooded with mail regarding your comments on sizeism, but I wanted to take a second to write you about a project I’ve been working on.As a preface: Your opinion isn’t shocking; millions share the same sentiment. You’ve used your wealth and public platform to echo what many already say. However, it’s important you know that regardless of the numbers on your tax forms, your comments don’t stop anyone from being who they are; the world is progressing in inclusive ways whether you deem it cool or not. The only thing you’ve done through your comments (about thin being beautiful and only offering XL and XXL in your stores for men) is reinforced the unoriginal concept that fat women are social failures, valueless, and undesirable. Your apology doesn’t change this.But oddly enough, that’s not all you have done. You have also created an incredible opportunity for social change.Never in our culture do we see sexy photo shoots with short, fat, unconventional models paired with not short, not fat, professional models. To put it in your words: “unpopular kids” with “cool kids”. It’s socially acceptable for same to be paired with same, but never are contrasting bodies positively mixed in the world of advertisement. The juxtaposition of uncommonly paired bodies is visually jarring, and, even though I wish it didn’t, it causes viewers to feel uncomfortable. This is largely attributed to companies like yours that perpetuate the thought that fat women are not beautiful. This is inaccurate, but if someone were to look through your infamous catalog, they wouldn’t believe me.I’ve enclosed some images for your consideration. Please let me know what you think.A note: I didn’t take these pictures to show that the male model found me attractive, or the photographer found me photogenic, or to prove that you’re an ostentatious dick. Rather, I was inspired by the opportunity to show that I am secure in my skin and to flaunt this by using the controversial platform that you created. I challenge the separation of attractive and fat, and I assert that they are compatible regardless of what you believe. Not only do I know that I’m sexy, but I also have the confidence to pose nude in ways you don’t dare. You’re are more than welcome to prove me wrong by posing shirtless with a hot fat chick; it would thrill me to see such a shoot.I’m sure you didn’t intend for this to be the outcome, but in many ways you are kind of brilliant. Not only are you a marketing genius (brand exclusivity really is a profitable move) but you also accidentally created an opportunity to challenge our current social construct. My hope is that the combination of these contrasting bodies will someday be as ubiquitous as the socially accepted ideal.Ever so sincerely,
JesP.S. If you would like to offer me a “substantial amount” to stop wearing your brand so my association won’t “cause significant damage to your image”, don’t hesitate to email me. I respect you as a business man, and my agent and I would be happy to contribute in furthering your established success.P.P.S. You should know your Large t-shirt comfortably fits a size 22. You might want to work on that.
NINETY-FIVE GRIEVANCES TO GOD: ABRIDGED
After Martin Luther
1. Children are capable of feeling
both shame and abandonment.
14. My father lives alone. Also,
a hawk killed his dog and you
expect me to believe in mercy.
20. Good things happen to bad people.
47. One day, every person I have ever
loved will die and the only option
you have given me is to just sit by
and watch it happen or hope
I am the first to go.
48. Speaking of love,
86. The list of artists who have
committed suicide only includes
the ones who were well known
enough to be found.
95. As a child, I prayed every night.
It felt important. Mature. Powerful.
I wish someone had told me that
it was me, that I was the powerful one.
Imagine it: fleets of six-year-olds
believing that strongly in themselves.
- Sierra DeMulder